Parents are Partners

Those who know me well, know that I have spent the year doing something I have never done before – I’ve “parented.” Due to Covid, my nephews (16 and 14) spent the year in virtual schooling. Predicting some of the challenges they would face, the decision was made that I would temporarily relocate to my city-of-origin (St. Louis) for the school year and provide hands-on assistance in their learning. The oldest lives with ADHD and anxiety (as do I) and as a result he struggles significantly with an Executive Function Deficit. With my sister-in-law working full time virtually teaching middle school and guiding the other son, it was clear my hands and educational knowledge were needed (my newly minted EdD put to good use!). In order to make life “easier,” (no one wanted to get up an extra hour early to prep for the day and travel between the houses), the 16-year-old moved in with my mom (where I am also living) and spends Sunday evenings through Friday afternoonsin our care.  I was given full access as a guardian to the high school and teachers, digital access to the THREE on-line portals needed to stay in touch with the school, his homework, and his grades, and an open-line of communication to his tutors (because lord knows I cannot help with AP Computer Science, Chemistry and Advanced Algebra).

Here’s a small sample of what I learned that have implications for educational leaders:

• When you shift gears at the last minute due to your poor planning, you REALLY frustrate and complicate the lives of the parents. Sometimes things happen beyond our control, and in those cases it behooves you to communicate as to WHY the changes had to happen.  Don’t just arbitrarily make a change and not communicate the WHY.
• If a learner has special adaptations they need to succeed, consider asking previous teachers, camp counselors, tutors, coaches, aunts/uncles/grandparents what has worked best for them in helping the learner in other areas of their life. Go beyond asking the parents for input in order to paint a full picture of support. The insights I was able to bring helped broaden the understanding the educators working with him have.
• Parents need to tag out some times. Encourage parents to hire education support staff to help their children – even in supplemental Jewish education and informal learning experiences. Often the children will hear things differently from a non-parent than they do from their parents (since that relationship comes will all sorts of other “baggage.”) This person can follow up on assignments, help manage to-do’s, assist in focusing the child on the task at hand, help gather supplies, and so much more. Consider if you can hire staff to do this for multiple families across your programs (even if you charge them a nominal fee for the support).

At some point I may write a full blog about what I’ve learned, but for now, sharing these tidbits seems like a good start.